3 Things

1) Why the fuck is it snowing?!?

2) I washed my jeans yesterday, which is a rare occurrence, and the washing machine sucked balls, leaving a large deposit of still liquid Tide on the crotchal region. I can STILL smell flowers emanating from my wang. All freaking day, it's like the uber cologne. Alma (coworker) said it was hard to breath with her mouth open by me cos she could taste it. Yes, she could taste my crotch in the air. This better fade soon, cos I don't like having a floral dick.

3) I hate people who feel the need to pull their cell phone away from their ear and speak into the screen. They are designed to pick up your voice optimally while it is held in the normal position. Hell, the antenna are even designed to work better when you hold them normally. Do you even know where the microphone is?! It's in the bottom, the part that is already by your mouth. They can't hear you better when you take it away from your head and talk at the speaker. In fact, you know what?!? Then you can't even hear what they're saying. And they can probably hear you worse than they could before. But I can hear you better, cos now you have to speak louder. Fucking dumbass.