Posted a blog, that's what. But after this, for a week or so at least, I can't say that anymore.
I'm gonna go with the highlights, as that seems like it would be more entertaining.
Last weekend was the Sandstorm Design holiday party. Katie came in for the weekend, which was awesome because (anytime I get to see her is awesome) everyone else I work with has a significant other that was attending as well. It's kind of nice being a part of a small company because the holiday party really just feels like a group of friends getting together.
We went to Café Ba Ba Reeba, a tapas place on Armitage and Halsted. We ordered a crap load of food and all of it was really good. Tapas is the perfect place for a party meal like that because it's just a very social thing. It really cemented how much I like my new job and the people I work with.
After dinner, Katie and I and a few of my coworkers (Amber and Holly) and Amber's Husband Mike and Holly's friend (her boyfriend is a bassist and was playing a show that night) Taylor(?) went out to a bar called The Store. Holly knew the bartender and she ended up bartending for a bit and well... yea. We'll just leave it at that. I definitely feel comfortable around my coworkers.
Hightlight #2 I got an iPhone this week (all praise the mighty Chris). It's freaking amazing. It really is an incredible piece of technology, and every time I use it I think ,"How did I not have this before?!"
Today on the brown line ride home from work, I started thinking about school. Classes start up in about 3 weeks, and that means I'm back to C++ coding for graphics crap. I'm really starting to double guess my choice of masters program. I figured, I like video games, computer graphics would allow me to work in a field I like, I already have a C++ background, so why not?
But I didn't enjoy my classes much last term. Well, I definitely liked one less than the other, and that one was the C++ class, the type of thing that this degree seems to be preparing me for.
I've also realized that I really enjoy web development. And now I'm thinking to myself, "Maybe I should have found a path that would allow me to do more web stuff. Learn more, get better." Is it too late? I'm only one term into it. But that's just more loans I'll have to take out, longer time in school... I don't know.
The whole reason I want my masters (I've gotten away from that whole 'highlights of the past week' thing and I'm just typing out my thoughts now)... any way, The whole reason I wanted to get my masters was because I felt my undergrad degree didn't provide me with enough to really succeed. It was a very good base; it gave me a great understanding of how programming languages work; and it really enabled me to pick up new programming languages quickly.
However, I wouldn't say it really made me a good programmer. And I think there are two things you need to be a good programmer: (1) to have sufficient knowledge of the language, (2) to genuinely enjoy programming.
Now, I realized a while back that I didn't really like programming, but I figured it was because I didn't like the programs I was building. Hence my move towards computer graphics. I also didn't like it because I wasn't great at it, and when you're not really good at programming, it just makes everything more difficult.
So back to school I went. But I'm still programming in the same language and it's basically the same type of thing. I guess my graphics stuff isn't software engineering like my job at Motorola was (which I hated), but it's still really low level programming.
My new job at Sandstorm though, that I really have been liking. I bought an HTML book and read it cover to cover. I don't think I ever read my programming books in college, and that's because I wasn't actually interested. I'm interested in this web stuff.
So now I'm stuck wondering if I need to reevaluate the direction of my life again. Weigh pros and cons, find out if there even is a direction I could go that would get me where I think I want to end up now. Maybe I'm just indecisive and should see how I feel after this next term. But maybe that's another term wasted.
Fuck.
Life is hard.
You know what I haven't done lately?
Posted by idrumgood at 8:57 PM
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1 comments:
Now, my friend, it seems like you're having the very same problems I am. Augustana was a four year sleep away camp that honed my social skills and gave me an expensive piece of paper that's like a 4 year attendence award. Point is: it really doesn't mean crap. At least with me. But don't worry about loans. It sounds like you have a great job, which you're really enjoying. If that's your calling, it's your calling. When you have to pay back those loans, it won't matter. It'll be $100 a month or so you have to pay for a long time, but it'll be just like a car payment or groceries. You just get used to it. I'm wasting my life at a restaurant but after a year I realized why I'm still there: I like the people I work with and I like working with people. But there is not a future there. SO I'm going back to school and trying to incorporate that into what I'm doing. I'll probably take out more loans too. Ummm, but I think I've wandered. Point is it's never to late to change direction. Until you die, life will be a journey that constantly changes direction. You just keep your head above water, try to have fun and keep pursuing happiness. Also, you should come visit me or make sure that we meet up when I'm back in Chicago because I miss being a part of all your lives. Anyway, you'll find what you need. You've got love, you have an idea of what direction you're going in, you have a job and an expensive piece of paper. take care
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